The Lincoln Story Book cover

The Lincoln Story Book

Henry L. Williams

1. 001 – Preface
2. 002 – Lincoln Calendar
3. 003 – Childish Rime
4. 004 – The Little Hatchet Did It.
5. 005 – The Little Hatchet Again Turns Up.
6. 006 – Lincoln’s Wedding-Song.
7. 007 – Risk The Hogs And I Will Risk Myself!
8. 008 – The Rest Was Vile.
9. 009 – No Heaping Coals Of Fire On That Head.
10. 010 – Stumping The Stump-Speaker.
11. 011 – Making The Wool, Not Feathers, Fly.
12. 012 – Log-Rolling To Save Lives.
13. 013 – Lincoln’s First Dollar.
14. 014 – Conviction Through A Thrashing.
15. 015 – Boating On Ground “A Leetle Damp.”
16. 016 – The Initiator Installed.
17. 017 – The Horrors For The Third Time!
18. 018 – The Whistle That Stopped The Boat.
19. 019 – It Is The Deed, Not The Doer.
20. 020 – Turn Out Or Be Turned Out.
21. 021 – The Best Thing To Take.
22. 022 – Drinking And Swallowing Are Two Things.
23. 023 – Worsted In A Horse-Trade.
24. 024 – How Many Short Breaths?
25. 025 – Lincoln’s Height.
26. 026 – Measures And Men.
27. 027 – The Prize For Homeliness.
28. 028 – How Long Legs Should Be.
29. 029 – Long Meter.
30. 030 – Hardships Strengthen Muscles.
31. 031 – He Used To Be ‘Good On The Chop.’
32. 032 – A Man Who Can Scratch His Shins Without Stooping.
33. 033 – Struck By The Dead Hand.
34. 034 – This Clinches It.
35. 035 – Lincoln’s First Love-Story.
36. 036 – A Put-Up Job–Or Chance?
37. 037 – Lincoln’s Marriage.
38. 038 – The Burlesque Duel.
39. 039 – Wanting To Dance The Worst Way.
40. 040 – The Statute Fixes All That!
41. 041 – He Did Not Know His Own House.
42. 042 – The Only One Who Dared “Pull Wool Over Lincoln’s Eyes�
43. 043 – The Long And Short Of It.
44. 044 – All A Man Wants–Twenty Thousand Dollars!
45. 045 – I’ll Hit The Thing Hard!
46. 046 – The “Lex Talionis” Christianized.
47. 047 – The Slave-Dealer.
48. 048 – The Negro Home, Or Agitation!
49. 049 – Lincoln’s Vow.
50. 050 – Den I Takes To De Woods!
51. 051 – The Unpardonable Crime.
52. 052 – Beyond The Boon.
53. 053 – Vain As The Pope’s Bull Against The Comet.
54. 054 – A Volunteer Captaincy Worth Two Dollars.
55. 055 – Getting The Company Column Through Endwise.
56. 056 – Regular And Irregular.
57. 057 – Knowing When To Give In.
58. 058 – A Fruitful Speech.
59. 059 – A Captain Challenged By His Men.
60. 060 – General McClellan’s Opinion Of Lincoln As A Lawyer.
61. 061 – Kentuckians Are Clanny.
62. 062 – Not To Be Thought Of!
63. 063 – Skin Wright And Close!
64. 064 – Hooking Hens Is Low!
65. 065 – The State Against Mr. Whisky!
66. 066 – As Clear As Moonshine.
67. 067 – Nice Clothes May Make A Handsome Man–Even Of You!
68. 068 – The Abutment Was Dubersome.
69. 069 – Good Enough For The President.
70. 070 – Lincoln’s First Political Speech.
71. 071 – A Lightning-Rod To Protect A Guilty Conscience!
72. 072 – Firing On A Flea For A Squirrel.
73. 073 – The Cream Of The Joke.
74. 074 – Parallel Courses.
75. 075 – Jumping Jim Crow
76. 076 – Facts Are Stubborn Things.
77. 077 – The Party Gad.
78. 078 – Hard To Beat!
79. 079 – I Reckon I Took More Than My Share.
80. 080 – Lincoln Was Loaded For Bear.
81. 081 – A Bounteous President–If Anything Is Left!
82. 082 – The Art Of Being Paid To Eat.
83. 083 – A Vice Not To Say No!
84. 084 – The Best Car!
85. 085 – Self-Made.
86. 086 – His High Mightiness.
87. 087 – Lincoln’s Opinion At Thirty.
88. 088 – The Blank Biography.
89. 089 – The Homliest Man Under Government.
90. 090 – Better Looking Than Expected.
91. 091 – Lincoln And Superstition.
92. 092 – Lincoln’s Dream.
93. 093 – Lincoln’s Vision.
94. 094 – It Is A Poor Sermon That Does Not Hit Somewhere.
95. 095 – The Religion Of Feeling.
96. 096 – The Two Prayers.
97. 097 – We Shall See Our Friends In Heaven!
98. 098 – More Praying And Less Swearing!
99. 099 – Gloves Or No Gloves.
100. 100 – The Use Of Books.
101. 101 – Lincoln’s Book Criticism.
102. 102 – The Hand-To-Hand Encounter.
103. 103 – Better Sometimes Right Than All Times Wrong.
104. 104 – Making The Dagger Stab The Holder.
105. 105 – The Tail Of The Kite.
106. 106 – No Day Without A Line.
107. 107 – Truth And The People.
108. 108 – Call Me ‘Lincoln.’
109. 109 – The Eloquent Hand.
110. 110 – Woman.
111. 111 – To Think And To Do Well.
112. 112 – Set The Trap Again!
113. 113 – No Royalty In Our Carriage.
114. 114 – The Trap To Catch A Douglas.
115. 115 – Practise Before and After the Bar
116. 116 – Connubial Amity.
117. 117 – The Model Whisky-Barrel.
118. 118 – Fighting Out Of One Coat Into The Other.
119. 119 – The Promising Face!
120. 120 – A House Divided Cannot Stand.
121. 121 – The Concert On ‘Dred Scott’
122. 122 – Playing Cuttlefish.
123. 123 – A Voice From The Dead.
124. 124 – If I Must Go Down, Let It Be Linked To Truth.
125. 125 – Come One, Come All!
126. 126 – Assisting The Inevitable.
127. 127 – Self-Sacrifice.
128. 128 – A Fight Proves Nothing.
129. 129 – Win The Fight, Or Die A-Trying.
130. 130 – Pills To Purge Melancholy.
131. 131 – Down To The Raisins!
132. 132 – Giant And Giant-Killer.
133. 133 – Lincoln’s Sentiments On A Mooted Point.
134. 134 – Chestnuts Under A Sycamore.
135. 135 – Still Of Little Note.
136. 136 – The Tree-Toad And Timotheus.
137. 137 – If It Will Do The President Good–
138. 138 – Grounds For A Financial Estimate.
139. 139 – I Wanted To See Them Spread!
140. 140 – The Lincoln Non Sequitur.
141. 141 – Why So Many Common People.
142. 142 – Envy Of A Humorist.
143. 143 – The Stopper On Journalistic Gas.
144. 144 – Salt Before Pepper.
145. 145 – Matching Stories.
146. 146 – The Only Discredit.
147. 147 – No Re-Lie-ance Of Them!
148. 148 – No Vices–Few Virtues.
149. 149 – The Apples Of His Eye.
150. 150 – The Whetstone Story.
151. 151 – The Monarch Of All He Surveyed.
152. 152 – Men Have Faults Like Horses.
153. 153 – Lincoln’s Puns On Proper Names.
154. 154 – Not So Easy To Get Into Prison.
155. 155 – Them Three Fellers Agin!
156. 156 – Lincoln The Great And Lincoln The Little.
157. 157 – Go, Thou, And Do Likewise.
158. 158 – Is The World Going To Follow That Comet Off?
159. 159 – A Good Listener.
160. 160 – Carried The Post-Matter In His Hat.
161. 161 – President Lincoln Dubbed Them The Wide-Awakes.
162. 162 – Trust To The Old Blue Sock.
163. 163 – If All Failed, He Could Go Back To The Old Trade!
164. 164 – As A Light Porter.
165. 165 – Whiskered, To Please The Ladies And Get Votes.
166. 166 – After Votes.
167. 167 – The Highwayman’s Non Sequitur.
168. 168 – How To Get Men To Vote!
169. 169 – Beginning At The Head With Clothing.
170. 170 – Luce A Jug–The Handle All One Side.
171. 171 – Such A Sucker As Me, President!
172. 172 – One Happy Day.
173. 173 – Old Abe Will Look Better When His Hair Is Combed.
174. 174 – A Curious Combination.
175. 175 – Abraham Lincoln
176. 176 – The Snake Simile.
177. 177 – What’s In A Name?
178. 178 – Paying For Whisky He Did Not Drink.
179. 179 – The Highest Merit To The Soldier.
180. 180 – How Sleep The Brave?
181. 181 – The Stokers As Brave As Any.
182. 182 – Try And Go As Far As You Can!
183. 183 – Argument Of “The Stub-Tailed Cow.”
184. 184 – Pegged Or Sewed?
185. 185 – Soldiering Apart From Politics.
186. 186 – A Time That Tried The Soul.
187. 187 – Cabinet Talk.
188. 188 – On The Blister-Bench.
189. 189 – Abe, A Thundering Old Glory!
190. 190 – Perfect Retaliation.
191. 191 – Let Down The Bars A Leetle.
192. 192 – The Administration Can Stand It If The Times Can.
193. 193 – Bottling That Wasp.
194. 194 – That King Lost His Head.
195. 195 – Swearing Like A Churchwarden.
196. 196 – My Speeches Have Originality As Their Merit.
197. 197 – Righting Wrong Hurts, But Does Good.
198. 198 – Stanton’s Service Was Worth His Sauce.
199. 199 – A Secret Of The Interior.
200. 200 – All Staff And No Army.
201. 201 – No Man Is Indispensable.
202. 202 – Sleeping On Post Cancels A Commission.
203. 203 – My Question!
204. 204 – If Good, He’s Got It! If T’Aint Good, He Ain’t Got It!
205. 205 – Lincoln Guessed The First Time.
206. 206 – A Phantom Chase.
207. 207 – The Word Flies, But The Writ Remains.
208. 208 – The War-Lord.
209. 209 – File It Away!
210. 210 – What We Have, We Will Give You.
211. 211 – More Shinplasters To Heal The Sore.
212. 212 – There Is Much In An ‘If’ And A ‘But.’
213. 213 – Don’t Waste The Plug, But Use It!
214. 214 – The Running Fever.
215. 215 – One And A Half Times Bigger Than Other Men!
216. 216 – So Slow, A Hearse Ran Over Him!
217. 217 – Blood-Shedding Remits Sins.
218. 218 – His “Leg Cases.”
219. 219 – How The Delinquent Soldier Paid His Debt.
220. 220 – The Swearing Had To Be Done Then, Or Not At All!
221. 221 – Displace The Thistles By Flowers.
222. 222 – You Have One, And I Have One–That Is Right!
223. 223 – Shooting A Man Does Him No Good!
224. 224 – Benevolence Is Beautiful.
225. 225 – It Was The Baby That Did It.
226. 226 – It Rests Me To Save A Life!
227. 227 – A Family Man Wants To See His Family.
228. 228 – A Rule Without Exception.
229. 229 – Even Rebels Might Be Saved.
230. 230 – Whipping Around The Stump.
231. 231 – Life Too Precious To Be Lost.
232. 232 – Mercy Has Precedence Over The Rigid.
233. 233 – Taken From Rebellion And Given To Loyalty.
234. 234 – Suspension Is Not Execution
235. 235 – The Discontented … About Four Hundred–
236. 236 – Not Much Of A Head, But His Only One!
237. 237 – Gi’e Us A Good Conceit!
238. 238 – They Went Away Sicker Still.
239. 239 – Of Twenty Applicants, Nineteen Are Made Enemies.
240. 240 – Rid Of An Office-Seeker.
241. 241 – Not Good Offices, But A Good Story.
242. 242 – Encourage Longing For Work.
243. 243 – But Aaron Got His Commission!
244. 244 – Something Lincolnian All Could Take.
245. 245 – Not Many Such Boys Outside Of Sunday-Schools!
246. 246 – The Good Boy Gets On.
247. 247 – How McCulloch Was Constrained To Serve.
248. 248 – All Mouth And No Hands’ Class.
249. 249 – Hot And Cold The Same Breath.
250. 250 – Wanted The Jail Earnings.
251. 251 – A Title No Hindrance.
252. 252 – A Talker With Nothing To Say.
253. 253 – Stick To Your Business.
254. 254 – Marrying A Man Without His Consent.
255. 255 – A Luxury To See One Who Wants Nothing.
256. 256 – Accuse Not A Servant—-
257. 257 – A Wolf In A Trap Must Sacrifice His Tail To Be Free.
258. 258 – Somewhat Of A Newsman.
259. 259 – A Little More Light And A Little Less Noise
260. 260 – My Part Of The Ship Is Anchored.
261. 261 – Angels Swearing Make no Difference
262. 262 – Washington’s Difficult Task
263. 263 – Steel And Steal.
264. 264 – That’s What’s The Matter
265. 265 – The Ship Of State Simile.
266. 266 – A Pill For The Public Printer
267. 267 – Let the Grass Grow Where it May!
268. 268 – The Peace-At-Any-Price Party
269. 269 – Things Were Topsy-Turvy Aloft, Too.
270. 270 – Hitching To The Moon
271. 271 – A Red Flag To Him
272. 272 – Fly Away, Jack!
273. 273 – His Pen Wanted To Keep Their Hogs Safe.
274. 274 – Hurrah For You!
275. 275 – Put Your Feet Right and Stand Firm
276. 276 – Get Their Graves Ready!
277. 277 – Mr. Lincoln’s Opion of General McClellan
278. 278 – A Stationary Engine.
279. 279 – Shoveling Fleas
280. 280 – The Georgia Colonel’s Costume
281. 281 – Coarse Feed First
282. 282 – Ain’t I Glad To Git Out O’ De Wilderness!
283. 283 – With Two Guns, Hold Off An Army.
284. 284 – Breaking Up The Little Game
285. 285 – The Bottom Will Fall Out.
286. 286 – Master Of Them Both
287. 287 – The Skeered Virginian
288. 288 – He Who Fights And Runs Away–
289. 289 – No Sunday Fighting
290. 290 – Let A Good Man Alone!
291. 291 – The Blondin Simile
292. 292 – The Pioneer’s Land-Title
293. 293 – Cheers Not Military—But I Like Them
294. 294 – Numbering The Hairs Of His–Tail!
295. 295 – An Unconventional Order
296. 296 – It Occurs To Me That I Am Commander!
297. 297 – Compliments Is All They Do Pay!
298. 298 – Bail The Potomac With A Spoon.
299. 299 – We Shall Beat Them, My Son
300. 300 – Little For So Big A Business.
301. 301 – Not Shoulder-Straps, But Hardtack.
302. 302 – Maryland A Good State To Move From!
303. 303 – Don’t Swap Horses Crossing a Stream
304. 304 – No Placing Thorns In The Side Of My Worst Enemy!
305. 305 – The Lincoln Plan Of Campaign
306. 306 – The Commander Should Obey Orders.
307. 307 – The Idlers Equaled The Effectives
308. 308 – Rest!
309. 309 – I Can Bear Censure, But Not Insult
310. 310 – A Battle Of Roses
311. 311 – Help Me Let Go!
312. 312 – Splitting The Difference
313. 313 – In The Inca’s Position
314. 314 – Blind Fortune
315. 315 – Little David And The Stone For Goliath
316. 316 – Lincoln’s Cheese-Box On A Raft
317. 317 – No Dutch Courage
318. 318 – If I had As Much Money And Was As Badly Skeered—-
319. 319 – It Pleases Her, And It Don’t Hurt Me.
320. 320 – Let Him Squeal If He works
321. 321 – Brigadiers Cheap–Chargers Costly.
322. 322 – To Cure Singing In The Head.
323. 323 – Bowing To The Boy Of Battles
324. 324 – When Washington Was All One Tavern
325. 325 – Break The Critter Where Slim!
326. 326 – How Get Him Out?
327. 327 – A Pleasure To Preside, At Last!
328. 328 – On The Lord’s Side
329. 329 – To Canaan
330. 330 – Going To Canaan!
331. 331 – The Fox Appointed Paymaster.
332. 332 – Risking The Dictatorship
333. 333 – A Stage In The Ceaseless March Onward To Victory
334. 334 – Working For A Living Makes One Practical.
335. 335 – Hold On And Chaw!
336. 336 – The Great National Job
337. 337 – For Flaying A Man Alive
338. 338 – One On ‘em Not Dead Yet!
339. 339 – The South Like An Ash-Cake
340. 340 – I Count For Something!
341. 341 – A Pass is no Good for Richmond
342. 342 – The Mayor Is The Better Horse
343. 343 – The Real Thing Superior To The Sham Battle
344. 344 – The Tool Turned on the Handle
345. 345 – Sooner The Fowl By Hatching The Egg Than Smashing It.
346. 346 – Too Busy To Go Into Another Business
347. 347 – The Scale Of Rebels.
348. 348 – One War At A Time.
349. 349 – Agin’ The Government.
350. 350 – Plowing Around A Log
351. 351 – Not The Right
352. 352 – The Man Down South.
353. 353 – The Dismembered
354. 354 – The Meteorological Omen
355. 355 – Did She Take The Wink To Herself?
356. 356 – Going Down With Colors Flying.
357. 357 – There Must Be The Bell-Mule
358. 358 – Root, Hog, or Die!
359. 359 – The Grant Brand Of Whisky
360. 360 – A General, At Last!
361. 361 – A Fizzle Anyhow!
362. 362 – Forget Over A Grave!
363. 363 – If He Felt That Way – Start!
364. 364 – Figures Will Prove Anything
365. 365 – I Don’t Want To–But That’s It If I Must Die!
366. 366 – Best Let An Elephant Go!
367. 367 – History Repeats.
368. 368 – Not The President, But The Old Friend.
369. 369 – Close Your Eyes
370. 370 – Don’t Judge By Appearances
371. 371 – Nothing Can Touch Him Further.
372. 372 – Went And Returned!
373. 373 – The Clear Foresight.
374. 374 – Do It Unbeknownst.
375. 375 – One Cannot Die Twice
376. 376 – No More Invidious Name-Calling.
377. 377 – The United States Of America The Treasury Of The World.
378. 378 – Hang On–Not Hang!
379. 379 – Lincoln’s Last Wish.
380. 380 – Assassination
381. 381 – A President, Not An Emperor.
382. 382 – The Plot To Waylay The President (1860).
383. 383 – I Don’t Believe There Is Any Danger
384. 384 – Worry Till You Get Rid Of Things.
385. 385 – The Fearlessness Of The God-Fearing.
386. 386 – The Poisoning Plot
387. 387 – Nothing Like Getting Used To Things!
388. 388 – Most Afraid Of A Friendly Shot
389. 389 – The One Word He Had Learned.
390. 390 – Not To Disappoint The People
391. 391 – Nothing Like Prayer–But Praise.

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Genres

Summary

The Abraham Lincoln Statue at Chicago is accepted as the typical Westerner of the forum, the rostrum, and the tribune, as he stood to be inaugurated under the war-cloud in 1861. But there is another Lincoln as dear to the common people–the Lincoln of happy quotations, the speaker of household words. Instead of the erect, impressive, penetrative platform orator we see a long, gaunt figure, divided between two chairs for comfort, the head bent forward, smiling broadly, the lips curved in laughter, the deep eyes irradiating their caves of wisdom; the story-telling Lincoln, enjoying the enjoyment he gave to others. (from the preface of the book)